Author’s note: This is all OPINION so do not get bent out of shape. For more articles related to my beef with Catholic Daughters of the Americas, check out the categories & tags on them. Thank you.
As promised in the previous blog, the article about my final showdown with the bane of my existence, Catholic Daughters of the Americas. And it all started because of the other bane of my existence, the Westboro Baptist Church.
So on my personal Instagram I had a thing about the Westboro Baptists and called them “the Catholic Daughters of the Baptist faith.” I then had a few CDA related posts on Instagram come up and I went on one that had something about recruitment and I said, “I hope anyone who joins this has better luck than me because I got bullied out of a parish and this organization.” I was then flamed by a shitload of members and told to “Get off of their Instagram.”
Um, and it’s okay for people to flame MY INSTAGRAM!? It was okay for someone to go on my Chasing The Dream Instagram and tell me I was in a fraud religion because Jesus only created the Catholic church? No, we are NOT playing this!
I then saw another one where someone designed a mug that said “Catholic Daughters of the World” and I realized, that group doesn’t exist. A Google search redirects you to Catholic Daughters of the Americas. So guess what I did? I told them that group doesn’t exist and if they are CDA, they really do need to stop that because their group simply puts people in therapy. I never heard anything because after the previous thing, I said it and blocked their asses.
Truth is now, I am realizing that maybe I need to admit defeat. Maybe I should just say that they won because for the last three years, I have tried my hardest to get my story out and to show that this group is nothing more than a cult within an otherwise perfectly non-cult like church or as an overgrown sorority and we all know that some are pushing for the Greek life system to be revamped or even done away with on college campuses.
I figured that we need to talk about arcanic organizations that exercise hypocrisy but I guess that’s not possible now. I mean, yes, I may have gotten at least ONE person from that stupid group to apologize to me but they were newbie and I know in a few years time, they will probably end up like the others because truth is, I don’t get apologies from the members that have been there longer.
Also, tell me why it’s perfectly okay to march on Washington, DC for pro-life issues and to allow members to pray the rosary in front of a local Planned Parenthood or the office of a Democratic pro-life politician despite you having a rule where members can do political acts as PRIVATE CITIZENS ONLY and not ID as a member of this organization but the minute a member puts something on their PRIVATE FACEBOOK PAGE and it’s a FRIENDS ONLY post, half of your membership wants to kill her?
Also why is it that it’s okay that a member mans a polling booth allegedly on behalf of the county or municipality they live in but if they work on a political campagin for anyone who is not GOP and/or pro-life even if they are acting as a PRIVATE CITIZEN, you want to draw and quarter them? And I know already that some of those poll workers are recruited by POLITICAL PARTIES! I once got a letter from the Democratic Party asking me if I would do that. I could have made history by helping work on the Obama campagin in 2008 but it was because of these evil women but it was okay for a member to work her local polling place?
They pick favorites, tell you what to wear at banquets and workshops (God forbid if you wear jeans to a workshop or a pantsuit to a banquet), and will scream like a damn banshee if your ceremonial robe isn’t ELEVEN INCHES OFF THE FLOOR EXACTLY!
SOUNDS LIKE A CULT!
Odes, chants, rituals…CULT!
But of course no one cares because they do a lot of charity work. Well, you know who else does? BAPTISTS! And we all know that people badmouth them all the time.
Oh and guess what, kids…I WAS A NATURAL BORN BAPTIST! I HAD TO BE IN THE CLOSET ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF MY FATHER’S SIDE OF THE FAMILY!
No one cares…I know it. And now with US President Donald Trump signing the “Religious liberty order” which among other things make it where religious organizations like Catholic Daughters of the Americas can openly express political views without fear of losing their precious tax exemption, it’s all over for me and my crusade!
Look, I’m all for freedom of religion but any good religious organization would know that there are some things that could alienate people such as telling you what candidates to vote for (which sometimes I felt CDA did by implying a lot of things) or what to write or call your elected officials about. That’s why I love my Baptist church…THE CLERGY DOESN’T DO THIS STUFF!
And while we are on this subject, why would they get all butthurt about me saying on a PRIVATE SOCIAL MEDIA POST my views on current events which were bipartisan but it’s okay for a group of women to talk about how they vote and then going nuts because a proclamation was read at one of their precious events by a mayor who is pro-choice?
So guess what, Catholic Daughters…YOU WIN ON THIS ONE! You are too strong for me to topple but guess what, you REALLY LOSE!
Here’s where you lose: YOU LOST A MEMBER WHO COULD HAVE MADE YOUR ORGANIZATION GREAT AGAIN!
I was 29.5 years old when I joined and I left at 36. Considering I was born in 1978, that makes me a member of Generation X and actually on the outer fringe of that generation. I relate to Gen Y and I could have showed them that there are young people around that do awesome things. I could have made your social media presence more known by creating Twitter accounts, Facebook pages, and Instagram accounts for my chapter and helped other local chapters to do the same. Since I am in a way a minority since I am mixed race (white and Native American) and a disabled person, I could have gotten them involved. I was learning more Spanish to reach the larger Latino population in my town.
But you blew it. You blew it the day you acted like certain things were okay and others were not and what I did was always wrong. You blew it when at an event, instead of wearing a ceremonial robe or being in the honor guard like our state president wanted, I opted to wear a very tasteful pantsuit and take photographs because I was the publicity person for that CDA diocese. You blew it when you side-eyed me for wearing another tasteful pantsuit to my chapter’s anniversary party.
And you really blew it when your members got up in arms about my tattoos for no reason at all and another member who hated my style was allowed to sabotage me at every opportunity. You blew it when I was lied to my face and told that my disability wasn’t why I was put in more diminished roles when a member of the nomination committee actually said to me, “You don’t want to do anything more than this because the stress will make you sicker.” You were perfectly okay about them lying about that just so they looked like angels around their precious district deputy who they worshipped LIKE A FALSE IDOL!
You blew it because I had no way of reporting any of this stuff because the diocesan and state levels were full of FANGIRLS for this chapter and at the time your national president (I refuse to use the word regent) was a woman who got her start in my chapter so I really had my back to the wall. By the time all this was cleared up, IT WAS A MOOT POINT! So basically you blew it by acting like shallow, overgrown UNIVERSITY SORORITY GIRLS!
And not only did you lose but someone else won. Do you want to know who won? THE BAPTIST CHURCH! They won because they did everything that was the opposite of you. I go to a church now where people don’t care if I wear jeans or dress pants to a service…they only care if I show up. They let me ask questions and learn more than I ever did before. And they aren’t so shallow.
Yes, they are pro-life and they aren’t big fans of same-sex marriage but they don’t force feed these ideologies down my throat at every opportunity. In fact, while I got a few things about pro-life stuff from them, it was mostly about how life is sacred but also we should reach out to women who have had abortions and regret it. I NEVER HEARD THAT AS A MEMBER OF CATHOLIC DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAS! All I heard was harsh judgement to women who had an abortion.
I volunteered to help the Democratic party in my state this past election cycle and guess what? No one cared. A few people knew but no one cared and that was because we were pretty much free to vote for who ever we wanted. We were just told to pray for a good, fair election.
The Baptists won because they got a believer who is hungry for more information and knowledge. Someone who will help out even if they have limitations and guess what? THEY USE ME EVEN THOUGH I HAVE LIMITS!
They won because they did the reverse of what you all did. They won because they were like, “We are not perfect, we know you are not perfect, let’s be imperfect followers of Christ together.”
So while I really despise Catholic Daughters of the Americas, I also have to thank them. Their hatred of women like me made me leave and while it took 18 months, I found a home among the Baptists. I was able to realize that when I wanted to convert to Episcopalian, it may not work and when I realized I was going to hit a similar brick wall but this time in the form of a priest who I think encouraged cliques and misguidance, I had the strength to just write a letter saying, “I have been going between you and the Baptists and frankly, I find the grass is greener on the Baptist side of the fence.”
I may not be able to fully forgive them but I will at least thank them for making me realize that for a Catholic woman who was a member of that group, I really did make one hell of an Independent Baptist.
So to all you believers that are struggling, find the strength to break free and walk away. Light the match and burn the bridge if you have to because sometimes it just has to be done. I mean, I just did and truth is I feel like for once in my life, I can feel my feet touch the ground. It is once again another step in being a broken person who isn’t staying broken.
And as always, don’t forget to be awesome.